Coaching Creates a Supportive, Comforting Space

When you were a kid, did you play the hand-stacking game?  The one where you take turns stacking one hand (palm down) on top of the other person’s hand, alternating right and left as you pull yours from the bottom to place on top? It starts to go so fast that you are just flapping your hands with the other person.  

That game came to mind recently when I attended a group session with others, discussing our thoughts about a topic. I hadn’t shared aloud as I was slowly processing the information, and the leader asked me if I would like to give my thoughts on what we had just read.  After stating my thoughts, which were still a little cloudy, my very well-meaning companions started sharing their perspective on top of mine with comments such as “What you mean is…”, “You can look at it as...”, and "It can be saying...". I know they had a well-intentioned desire to support me, yet it felt like their words were hands covering mine, covering my thoughts with theirs and leaving me feeling like I was not heard nor encouraged to further process my own thoughts. 

I have realized since that occurred, while appropriate for the setting we were in, it was not what I needed at that moment, which was someone to take my hand, turn it over, hold it, and offer a question or space to allow me to further ponder my own thoughts on the topic.  

If you have found yourself sharing your thoughts or questions and having well-meaning friends, family, colleagues, etc. trying to “fix” it for you, I can tell you that a life coach can be that person to offer the supportive, comforting space that may be more helpful for you at that moment.

With a coach, you get as much time as you need to reflect on your thoughts and listen for deeper intuition to guide you.  The coach listens and responds with questions rather than statements, which creates a supportive space for you to ponder and come to see your thoughts on the topic more clearly.